Entry #3/4 Opinionated Chameleon

While in high school I felt pretty controlled by my father, by the school rules, and by my friends expectations. It is interesting how much things changed the summer after graduation. I left school and gave up on art, all my friends and on my family to a large extent. It was a longtime before I picked up a pencil to draw anything. Eventually I got back to drawing and school but I had a new perspective. I was there because I wanted to be there. I did things not because it was expected but because it was my choice. I have worked hard in college and am a much better student now then I ever was in high school. I think my artwork has improved as well. Primarily because I pursued what I was interested in. I think it is important to remember that things can change a lot from high school to college so don't "write-off" any students. They all may come around sooner or later.

I feel guilty when I spend time on things that I enjoy that don't include my family. I like to win but success is not something to tie self-worth to because you will not always succeed. If you let success in your aspirations anchor themselves to your self-worth then you run the risk of losing yourself whenever you fail. So rebounding from a failure is probably what makes me feel the most worthy. I love when things go unexpectedly. When a movie can surprise me I usually consider it a good movie. I like to be prepared which sounds contrary to liking things to go unexpectedly but if I am not prepared when I know what is coming that both embarasses and infuriates me.

I think I am an adrenaline addict. I love mountain biking down and diving off cliffs. I love rollercoasters and high places. I find comfort every night in knowing that my family is safe and I can look forward to the next day. The thought of my kids growing up and moving away is probably my most depressing thought.

Assertive, idealistic, opinionated, ethical, and confident are words that I think are good descriptors for who I see myself as. I am a husband and father. I give priority to these roles. I like work and college but being a provider is the primary goal of these activities. In my freetime I like to play with my kids and build. I know shopping is not a traditional past-time for guys but I don't mind walking around the mall/store holding my wife's hand and looking at stuff. I consider myself a conservative. I believe that the government is there to keep peace and freedom and outside of that they should be in the background. I think men and women are different. I think they have equal value and status but they are complementary in their design and nature. Where one is lacking the other has strength. I like blue jeans and t-shirts, any music without vulgarities and art that is thought-provoking without being distasteful. I think too many artists substitute shock value for ability. No skill - just being disgusting with no substance or purpose and calling it art does not make it art. Sounds pretty opinionated now that I read it but I started this entry by telling you that.